Where to start...at the beginning I suppose.
I am a 32 year old single mom. I was divorced two years ago from a man I was married to for 9 years. We created two beautiful little girls together who are 4 and 9 years old. In my blog, I think I will refer to my oldest daughter as "Peanut" and my youngest daughter as "Goosie" rather than use their real names. Those have been their nicknames since babyhood so it feels pretty natural to type them. Peanut is a little thing so it fits her. Goosie got her nickname as a rendition of "silly goose" or "stinky goose"...whichever fit her at the moment. Just for my own paranoid nature, I will decline from using their real names...although... if I do say so myself, they have very pretty names.
We live in a multi-generational home that suits us all very well. Since about a month before Goosie was born, we've lived in a house with my mom and step dad. When my husband and I divorced, he moved out and the girls and I stayed. It works for us. Although it started out as a financial necessity (which I will probably write about at some point), it has become so beneficial for everyone involved that we plan to continue as long as that remains to be the case. Despite what some people may think or assume, I do NOT use my parents as free childcare. I rarely go out when I have my girls. I pay all my own bills, buy all my own groceries, and do all of the care-giving for my kids. The only thing I don't do is pay rent. Again, this works for us....all of us. I pitch in and help in whatever aspects my parents need/ask/want me to. We love it here, there's plenty of room, and I really can't imagine being anywhere else right now. I'm not saying this will never change. I'm just saying that for now, this is where we want to be, where we are wanted, and where my girls are thriving.
My kids have a great relationship with their dad. They see him a lot and he is a super-active parent in all aspects. He lets me know if someone is misbehaving. I let him know if someone falls and gets a scraped elbow or knee. We don't always see eye to eye and sometimes we argue. Well, obviously... If we got along famously, we'd still be married. It's a challenge to co-parent with him at times because we do have very different thinking in a few key areas but, for the most part, we try to be as friendly and respectful as we can because that's what is best for our girls.
I am currently unemployed. For the past 2.75 years I was a nanny for a family with three kids. Two years ago, when I got divorced, I decided to go back to college and get my degree. I was able to bring my girls with me to work and take online classes full time. This past March, I graduated with my degree in a health/medical related field. When summer started to approach, the family I worked for thought that there was a good chance I could find a job in my new field at any moment. They didn't want to be stuck mid-summer with no childcare so they opted to act proactively and find a new nanny. This left me without work and two children to support...a terrifying combination. I actively job-search for half the day and spend the other half just enjoying the summer with my girls. It's an unfortunate situation but I'm confident that God will provide and things will work out for the best. He has yet to fail me so how can I doubt that He will provide sustenance this time?! I can only continue to trust and persevere to do everything in my power to create a stable situation for my daughters and myself.
I've saved the most important, personal component to myself for last. I am a Christian and I am on a constant journey to grow my devotion to Christ. Along with this, I am a sinner. I mess up...a lot. I am nowhere near the woman/mother/daughter/child of Christ that I should be. Every night I go to bed and ask Jesus to help me do just a little better tomorrow than I did today. Some days I do better, some days I falter significantly. Those stumbles do not make me give up...they only make me try harder the next day. This blog will hopefully hold me more accountable to my faith and foster the growth of my relationship with Jesus. He is truly the only Man in my life and I ache to be closer to Him every day. He is where I draw my strength from and He is who I cry to when my own strength is not enough to carry me.
I hope this gives readers a bit of background knowledge as to who I am and who I aspire to be. Sometimes I might be funny, sometimes insightful. Sometimes I might complain or gripe about random things that bug me, sometimes I might take a poetic approach to expressing my thoughts. There isn't any one way I plan for this blog to go...so I suppose it will fluctuate as my moods and daily challenges present themselves.