Monday, December 6, 2010

You Know I Like You Like That

Do you know what it’s like to feel something…for someone…and somehow talk yourself into thinking that someone feels the same thing you do because of something they said or did that just perfectly matches up with your justification?  Yeah…that backfires like 99.9% of the time.  Do you know why?  Because…because we build this crap up in our minds and make it seem all pretty and wrapped up like some freaking present because that’s what we WANT it to be.

How stupid is that?!?  I’ll tell you… It’s REALLY stupid.  Wanna know why?  I’ll bet you do.  I’ll even tell you, because I like you like that.  You don’t even have to guess how much I really like you…I’m telling you right now, honestly, no question…I like you like that.  That’s why I’m going to fill you in on this little piece of wisdom.

It’s stupid (you know…that thing we were just talking about) because we MAKE it that way.  Yep.  We do it to ourselves.  Whether we’re single moms or single dads or single aliens from the planet Zarcrap, we do it to ourselves.  We tell ourselves that each tiny little thing someone says means this or that because that’s what we need it to mean.  In the end though…it ends up meaning that we haven’t come to terms with ourselves in some ridiculous way or another and we cling stupidly to the actions of others to justify our own mental defects. 

Hey guess what…. I’m sick of having self-discovering revelations.  I just want ONE guy to tell me how he actually feels and have it actually match up with the feelings I’m having for him.  That would be freaking awesome if that happened in real life.  Then, I wouldn’t have to depend on my ridiculously erratic dreams to satisfy my less than creative consciousness during the day.

I’m tired of having to develop these insane, never-going-to-really-happen fantasies just to convince my unsuspecting psyche that I’m “just fine” being single and utterly alone.

What is your most ridiculous fantasy…?  Come on…you know I like you like that.  You can tell me.

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